Unnatural Food

     This past Easter Sunday one of our friends left a bag of candy on our dining table. When we came home from Church, I went upstairs to drop off my stuff, and when I came down stairs I saw Lincoln with grotesque face.
 I asked him what was wrong:

Me: Hey dude, what's up?
Lincoln: I thought this was candy.
Me: Uh... that's a giant piece of chalk...no!

While I was upstairs Lincoln dug through the candy bag and grabbed the largest item. It was a giant piece of chalk that was shaped like an egg. He thought it was a strawberry flavored candy. I started laughing, and then Fred came home and told me to help out with dinner next store. As I walked out the door, I heard Fred screaming after hearing Lincoln eating chalk. Within ten minutes everyone we knew, over forty people, heard what happened to Lincoln. Lincoln is one of the select few who is infamous for eating non-human food. However, below is the greatest, most embarrassing, roommate Joe story ever.

         So last year Joe fasted from eating meat. One day, while shopping at Trader Joe's, he decided to break fast when he saw a bag of "jerky" that read,"beef flavored sticks." Essentially, the bag looked appetizing and Joe felt the urge to eat as soon as possible, so he bought the "jerky" and rushed home. When he came home, he ran upstairs and took a piece of jerky and bit into it. The "jerky" Joe was eating tasted unusual. He looked at the nutritional facts, and did not recognized any of the ingredients. Finally, Joe read the bag label a second time which clearly reads, in big font, "dog food."
       When Joe saw "dog food" printed on the bag he screamed. Lincoln was sitting in the dining table when he heard Joe's scream. Joe ran down stairs and threw the bag on the table. Lincoln then read the label and screamed shock figuring out what happened to Joe. Long story short, Joe ate dog food. He begged Lincoln not to tell anyone, but Lincoln  exposed Joe's humiliation in front of all our friends.

A lesson to take from this post is read, make sure you know you are eating human food, and karma. Lincoln made fun of Joe for eating dog food, and now we make fun of Lincoln for eating chalk.